Wonderland Photoshoot & Why I've Stopped Blogging About My Cosplay Outfits

Sunday Cast & Photographers
Photography: Kimberly Marshall
In May I participated in a photoshoot. Something I haven't done since I was in junior/senior high. It was a spur of the moment thing and since I cosplay at conventions, I thought I'd give it a shot. 

My sister-in-law and her photoshoot group plan out these great shoots a few times a year with really cool themes. She had called me up and asked me to be their Hatter for the last day of the Wonderland shoot as their original Hatter couldn't make it. Everyone looked great and there were some really awesome shots between the two days that they got together. 

Alice & Mad Hatter
Models: Catrina & Amanda (myself)
Photography: Kimberly Marshall
The photo above has to be my favorite shot from the entire day. It took a few tries to really get it right, but I think it turned out great. Of course, in every single photo you can see I suffer from RBF (Resting B**ch Face). I swear I was having a decent time, I was just tired and having a bit of anxiety. See, I don't normally talk about this on my blog because it doesn't really belong here, but I've been cyber bullied, harassed and stalked by the same woman for almost two years. Enough that going out in public gives me anxiety attacks because I know she has spread all kinds of things about me and I've even been harassed in public by total strangers because of it. 

Corset and skirt: Damsel in this Dress
Not too shabby considering I pulled all this out of my closet at the last minute!

So, I tried to have fun and interact with others, but in the back of my mind, all I could think about was how any number of these people around me could have been a friend or follower of my bully and her fan page.

Photograph: Kimberly Marshall

At the time of the photoshoot, I had disabled my Facebook account to try and escape this woman's tormenting. I found a new admin for The Mom Next Door Facebook page, someone I knew I could trust, and wanted to just disappear with hopes that it would end the craziness. It didn't. My bully made a fake profile, went onto the post explaining to all of my fans that I was no longer on Facebook because of the bullying, and continued to spew lies posing under a fake name. The profile was immediately deleted once someone responded to it. 

There obviously was no escape and the bullying got worse. As the days went on after the shoot, and photos started appearing online of me as The Hatter, my bully took to her Facebook page to call me a freak and posted a photo of a model wearing the same jacket I had in my shoot along side a photo of Johnny Depp's version of Hatter claiming that the model is what I thought I looked like, but what I really looked like was Johnny Depp's crazy character. Basically, she was calling me ugly, which was nothing new as she's made fun of my looks as well as my weight on a ton of occasions. 

I literally became sick to my stomach. Clearly there was no end. While I had been excited for the next photoshoot, which was Pin-Up themed, as the days got closer to it, I decide to bail on the photoshoot. My anxiety level was just way too high and I felt beat down and defeated. Did I really want my bully to have more ammunition against me? She's used my photos on her page multiple times and has included my town name, family member's full names, and my full name with so many lies, I didn't want to find out what else she was going to come up with.

I recently thought she was done with her shenanigans, as the person who was really behind everything she accused me of was finally charged with harassment and she started editing out my name from things. I was wrong. Despite the fact that she now knows she wrongfully bullied me, and her fans know she wrongfully bullied me (after claiming to be an advocate against bullying this entire time... imagine that), she took to her Facebook page again in the last few days, once again making fun of me "dressing up". 

Photograph: Figment: Costuming & Jewelry

Because of this, I've been very hesitant on posting any of my cosplay outfits, any photos of me in said outfit, and any information about the conventions I've visited. 

I want to be able to share these things with you guys, because it's a huge part of my life and who I am, but being viciously attacked every day, by a grown woman whom I do not even know personally, makes it hard for me to do. 

I had considered explaining my entire story, but I don't think I need to. The shortened version of it is that bullying has hindered me from doing a lot of the things I love, which is why my random posts that everyone loves so much don't happen anymore. 

I do want to share with you guys the most recent convention I went to and the one that I have coming up next month, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared about it after everything that's happened. 

I know so many of you support me in everything, and I love each and every one of you, so just hang with me while I try and gain my confidence back after all the abuse I've been through. 

You can check out more photos from this photoshoot, and many others at DuBois Area Fantasy Photoshoot


  1. She's just jealous that she cant look as good in fun costumes! Dont let her win and hinder your joy and happiness i wish i had the confidence like you to do such fun things but id feel silly and out of place..lol girl rock it and f**k her!

  2. What a jerk. Whoever your bully is, she is not worth all the mental energy you're giving her. I know, easier said than done! But what she WANTS is for you to slink away, too afraid to post online. Bullies get their power from their victims' fear.

    Honestly, if it were me, I would just start flat-out ignoring her, and making her know she is ignored. (Actually, it WAS me a few years ago, when a group of women started bullying me). Here's what I did: Block her everywhere you can and delete any comments she leaves. Don't reference her. Don't read what she says. It is hard at first, but soon you forget she even exists.

    Because the thing is, people will soon tire of her. Negativity like that is hard to keep up. It's exhausting. So her fans will move on to other things. In the meantime, you'll continue growing your supporters who love your posts and think cosplay is the bees knees.

    And hey, if a bunch of meanies what to talk about you and how weird/horrible/etc. you are... *shrug* That's their problem not yours. It's only bringing more pageviews your way! :)

    1. She's been blocked since the beginning, but it unfortunate that she just keeps making new fake profiles to keep stalking everything I do.

      You are absolutely right, though. I'm sure eventually her friends, family, and fans are going to get sick of her being so negative all the time.


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