Simply Nerdy Mom: Living As A Depressed Parent: Learning How To Feel Better About Ourselves

Monday, April 8, 2019

Living As A Depressed Parent: Learning How To Feel Better About Ourselves



It's not something that many mothers would like to admit to. But it's such a common thing. Living with anxiety and depression isn’t exclusive to mothers, but due to conditions like postpartum depression, in conjunction with the stress of everyday parenting life, it can feel like many mothers struggle to cope.

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Sometimes there are many parents out there that feel ill-equipped to raise a child, even though they're doing an amazing job. And this might be you, especially if you feel that you have good days and bad days, like every single one of us, but those bad days feel a million times worse than any normal day. Depression is one of those things that can feel difficult to come to terms with, but if you are on the scale somewhere, it's important to learn how to feel better about ourselves in the grand scheme of things. What are the best ways to do this?



A Sense Of Perspective


We have to remember that due to common issues like FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), we can lose our sense of perspective. When we suffer from depression, our perspective can be incredibly skewed. It's important to remember this if we ever go through any depressive episode. While it feels like at the time that you are trapped in the tunnel, and the light is very far away, when you have these peaks and troughs of emotion, it's important that when you get out of it, that it is something that could happen again. And this is no bad thing, a lot of us can spend time trying to actively fight the feelings of depression, but in some ways, we can benefit by accepting that this is what will happen now and again.



Positive Thinking From The Outside In

If we feel depressed, it can either be a chemical imbalance or it could stem from a traumatizing moment in life that has stuck with us, and could feed our negativities. For example, a lot of people feel that they just aren't pretty enough, and when they have to compare themselves to the others around them, their negative feelings can magnify. But what's important to remember is that we can make these alterations to our sense of thinking. Positive thinking is a very important tool, and while there are lots of resources out there to help you retrain your brain, like cognitive behavioral therapy, one of the most important tools we can harness is changing the image of ourselves from the outside in. Now, it's important for so many reasons that we alter the perception of ourselves, because sometimes, no matter how pretty other people tell us we are, we just can't believe it. And this is why it's important for us to influence ourselves by becoming the person that we want to be. And the one simple way to do it is by altering our appearance. There are places like VavaHealth that can give us a makeover, and help us to highlight our attributes. And when it comes to something like a beauty makeover, it's these things that can help us to regain a more positive attitude to ourselves. We need to remember that we can influence our brains on a subconscious level by altering our appearance and actually trick our brain into being more positive...



Learning The Habits That Can Make You Mentally Successful

When it comes to the right habits, one of the most important things you can do to retrain your way of thinking is to harness these positive attitudes. Things like positive self-talk can be very useful, but they can seem a little strange to do, especially if you're a busy mother, and there's no time to do anything for yourself. Or if you are a bit skeptical of these sorts of things, it’s time to point the fact out that successful business people and athletes all make the most out of positive self-talk. There are plenty of resources online, but one of the best is the one provided by Tony Robbins, which talks about the importance of a healthy morning habit where you “prime” your brain for the day. And it involves a few exercises, but primarily, this positive self-talk is the thing that's really interesting. Once you get into the everyday habit of saying a few positive words about yourself, and actually forcing yourself to mean it, what happens is that the brain starts to catch on and begins to believe this. And the interesting thing about the brain is that we can almost fool it into so many different beliefs. There is an abundance of resources online about this. But it's so very important to remember that you can retrain your brain, that you aren't stuck in one way of thinking.



It's Not A Race To “Be Cured”

And as we can all suffer from these sorts of episodes, or some can suffer for weeks or months on end, we can feel that we want to get out of it, and bid goodbye to it. But for some people, they may find that they go through a bad patch in life and then come out the other side. There are people who may never have any symptoms ever again, but what we all have to remember is that it's not about running to get away from it, but if we find that the black dog creeps up on our shoulder again, it's about accepting the fact that it's there. Because so many people are in denial about certain illnesses, this means that it can take a lot longer to come round to getting treatment. But if you can accept the fact that it's there, and not do your best to run away from it, especially if you think ignoring it will make you a better parent, by accepting the fact that there will be ups and downs in life, that you won't always feel amazing, this gives you power over the problem. It's far better fast to accept that we can have moments of weakness, and when we do, that we have an action plan to deal with it.

Feeling depressed as a parent can take its toll, but once we make peace with the fact that it can come and go, as well as come up with a few worthy habits, this will help us to feel much better about ourselves and the condition.



If your depression gets to be too overwhelming and you start to feel hopeless, just know that there are people out there who can help you. I know as parents it can be difficult to leave home with how busy we are. Add to that the anxiety that often comes with depression and you may need resources that fit your specific needs. That's where BetterHelp comes in. They can match you up with online professionals that are available to you whenever and where ever you need them. 

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