Simply Nerdy Mom: When Married Life Starts Feeling a Little Stale: 3 Simple Ways to Freshen Things Up

Thursday, January 3, 2019

When Married Life Starts Feeling a Little Stale: 3 Simple Ways to Freshen Things Up



Once you've been married for a number of years, the "honeymoon phase" starts to wear off and eventually it can feel a little like your relationship is going a bit stale. Here are some tips to help freshen things up. 

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Go on a weekend escape together

If you value your relationship, it's important to schedule in time together. We know that communication is important, but if you aren't spending any time together to communicate with one another, it can be very damaging long term. You don't even have to travel far, just go someplace other than home for a bit. Speaking from experience, I know that staying home can save money, and we don't need to find a babysitter for our two kids. However, when I'm at home, I get distracted pretty easily with things that need to be done around the house, or I'll see my laptop and think about work that needs done. It also opens up the possibility for people to unexpectedly drop by or date night interruptions by the kiddos. The absolute best way to get these distractions out of the way is to go on a weekend escape with no one but the two of you, and especially no electronics. Spend time together. Focus on one another. Even if you never leave the hotel room, it's the perfect opportunity for some relationship strengthening.


Surprises and Spontaneity 

Marriage can get very routine. Every day can seem like Deja Vu, especially when everything runs on a schedule now a days. This is why little surprises and spontaneity can help freshen things up a bit. A random gift when it's not a holiday, birthday, or anniversary is always a popular surprise, but so are little notes, bringing your significant other lunch to their office, or maybe even taking their car and giving it a good wash down and filling the tank for them. These things work great, especially if they are things you don't normally do. My husband has randomly come home at lunch time to eat lunch with me or take me out to lunch. Sometimes he leaves work early for the day just to come home and spend some time with me before the kids get home from school. He'll show up with flowers or my favorite snacks for no reason. Sex can also end up being routine in marriages where there are children. This is where the spontaneity comes in, and trust me, it will definitely spice things up. 


Turn to the professionals

Most people think marriage counseling is for couples who fight all the time and just can't get along. The truth is, sometimes it can really be beneficial to couples who just need a little extra advice on keeping things going smoothly. I know it can feel a little invasive to speak to a total stranger about your relationship, but sometimes it can release a lot of stress and tension and help us better communicate with your spouse. You can find out if counseling is right for you by checking out this article HERE

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